Meirun Dakedo Meta Koto Nai
by hapsby
Summary: [Oneshot set after the manga's end.] Birthday ficlet for Piketnoir. Kaiba comes back to Domino, and something's changed. Something he can't see...[Jounouchi x Kaiba]


**Luna sez:** Bwah ha, it's been nearly four years since I last posted something on ff.net -- I feel a little weird. XD This fanfic was written for my friend Piket's eighteenth birthday. She's a huge huge fan of Jounouchi x Kaiba, and requested a 'fic about everyone's favorite dysfunctional pair. Of course, she wanted a one-shot, and I couldn't think of how to bring them together in just one piece of fanfiction...so this whole thing seems a bit unbelievable to me. Oh well, maybe you'll like it anyway? ^_^; I'm actually working on a fairly massive Yami no Matsuei/Yuugiou crossover, where I'm actually attempting to flesh their relationship out, so...yeah. XD; And I know that Kaiba gets the riddle wrong in the end. But, think about it. What it means to Yuugi and Jounouchi might mean something completely different to Kaiba. If you'd like to pick apart my grammar and incoherent plot, feel free. Oh, and this might actually be R, considering how many times I threw the F-word around...U_U;;;   
  
**Meirun Dakedo Meta Koto Nai**   
-by luna kishibara-  
  
  
There's something different about Domino, but Kaiba Seto can't put his finger on it. Nor does he care to. It's been almost a year since he last walked the slight expanse of granite from his limosine to the Kaiba Corporation doors, and something's so different. When his fingers brush against the cool metal of the door handles, he feels it. Rather, he _doesn't_ feel it -- his purpose, his quest, everything that made Domino meaningful.   
  
He's just not certain what that is.   
  
Shaking his head, annoyed at thinking pointless thoughts, he enters his sanctuary and locks himself away. Work is pure, clean, and dull. The proof of Kaiba's worth is evident in every sold product, every new invention, every earned yen.   
  
That is meaning: victory. Being the best. (And Mokuba, too, of course, but that goes without saying or thinking: Mokuba is everything.)   
  
When Kaiba enters his office, he pulls his deck out of his pocket and throws it absently at his desk. They impact with the immaculate wood surface and shatter into sixty perfect representations of his youth and strength. Sixty little rectangles that once meant Kaiba Seto was the king, Kaiba Seto was untouchable, Kaiba Seto was as perfect as the cards themselves.   
  
Kaiba Seto's been dethroned too many times to care anymore.   
  
***   
  
**_love is almost as boring as friendship, but not quite_**   
  
Jounouchi Katsuya still has the same god-forsaken gaijin blonde hair that makes him look like some disgusting breed of mongrel. He still talks in that annoying, booming voice that carries over all other conversation in their classroom's free period.   
  
"Maa~ I'll beat you this time, Yuugi!" he barks, dirt-brown eyes dully shining. There's something different about the way he walks and the way his eyes glitter, but Kaiba doesn't really care.   
  
Mutou Yuugi seems different, too. Even though his eyes are still wide, he smiles at the make inu, declines his challenge, and asks the Mazaki girl for a date. She blushes, and giggles, and accepts.   
  
Kaiba's so bored. The damn desks they have to sit in are too small for his long legs. Jounouchi's woofing has settled to a low whine in the back of his head.   
  
The teacher re-enters the room and motions for the class to sit back down. They do.   
  
Class passes through Kaiba's consciousness like victory through his fingers; the insatiable, yawning boredom broken momentarily by a small, folded square of paper landing on his desk. He doesn't have to look up to know that Jounouchi threw it, and, if it were any other day, Kaiba would have ignored it. But boredom makes Kaiba feel generous enough to humor the bonkotsu-na-duelist, so he opens the note languidly.   
  
_Hey, Kaiba-no-yarou--_   
  
Kaiba pauses just for a moment, surprised that the blonde idiot's handwriting is better than his own.   
  
_If you're so smart, then answer this question._   
  
Despite himself, Kaiba feels his lips twitch, wanting desperatly to curl up into a smirk. Oh, this will be good.   
  
_"What is something that you see, yet can't be seen?"   
  
I'm sure you won't get it, but I wanted to see you try.   
  
-Jounouchi_   
  
Kaiba frowns. _Something you see..._ Cards, monsters, the horrorstruck expressions of those facing Blue Eyes White Dragon, life points. _...yet can't be seen._ Intelligence, strategy, perfection, the idea of victory itself. Kaiba's fingers curl around his pen, and he's about to firmly upbraid the idiot dog for giving him such an easy riddle, but...somehow, that answer doesn't seem right, and the slight hesitation is enough to throw Kaiba completely in doubt.   
  
Instead of writing the idiot back, Kaiba looks up and catches his eye from across the classroom. To his slight surprise, Jounouchi is watching him intently, a look that the brunette can't quite describe plastered across his usually goofy face. Dark, serious, almost melancholy. Jounouchi Katsuya looks beautiful, and it's not the first time Kaiba's ever thought that.   
  
Making absolute certain that the blonde is watching, Kaiba slowly crumples up the note. As Jounouchi's eyes narrow, Kaiba opens his fisted hand and lets the paper fall down onto his desk, where it bounces off and falls to the floor. Jounouchi glowers at him angrily, but the way he gnaws on his bottom lip show that he's more downhearted than infuriated. Kaiba really doesn't know why. He doesn't care, either.   
  
But when the bell rings, Kaiba takes extra time to pack up his school case. When everyone else has left, he bends down, scoops up the wadded paper, smooths it out as best as he can, and puts it in his pocket.   
  
There's something different in Domino, but Kaiba can't really put his finger on it.   
  
***   
  
**_people grow and shift and change, and you just have to change with them_**   
  
It's a long, slow, drawn-out kiss that takes a ridiculous amount of time to end. Jounouchi pulls back, smiles at Kaiba, and chews on his bottom lip. His eyes still seem so strange; his walk isn't nearly as swaggering; his hands aren't as steady as they were when he was fifteen. But they're sturdy enough when they tangle in Kaiba's hair and trace the expanse of his body. His lips brush against Kaiba's neck and flutter against his collarbone, and the brunette can feel the faintest hint of the make inu's teeth as they scrape lightly against his skin.   
  
Kaiba's so bored. Yuugi doesn't want to duel anymore.   
  
Jounouchi doesn't seem to mind that Kaiba's not interested in his lips, or his hands, or the way his hips grind against Kaiba's own..._"I just wanna be near you. Dunno why, Seahorse."_   
  
_Yeah. Me too._ But Kaiba doesn't say it. There's nothing to be won here, no victories, no titles, no life points, no monsters. Why is does he bother? (_steady/shaky hands fumble at the clasp of his pants_) Why does he care? (_tongue swirling purposefully over the contours of his stomach_) Why does he want? (_i love you i always have_) Why does he see? (_you aren't everything but you're fuckin' close enough_) Why does he...   
  
_...I'm just here because he's not anymore._   
  
Jounouchi doesn't want to hold him when it's all over. He just lays next to him, face turned to the ceiling, and breathes. Kaiba opens his hand, because Jounouchi's close enough to touch, but he clenches it shut against his side and scowls. It's stupid, blazingly idiotic, that Kaiba can let this idiot fuck him but can't bring himself to touch him.   
  
"...He's dead, you know. The thing I couldn't see."   
  
Kaiba closes his eyes. "Do you think I care?"   
  
A breathy sigh, and then, "No, I guess not."   
  
The world turns outside Kaiba's room, but all that matters is that yet another victory has eluded Kaiba. Because games are so much more than games, and Yuugi never loses anything he plays.   
  
As if to spite the ghost of someone Kaiba doesn't really believe existed, the brunette forcefully closes his hand over Jounouchi's. The blonde rolls over onto his side and tucks Kaiba's shoulder under his chin, smiling his dog-like smile.   
  
It's not _I love you_, and Kaiba hasn't won anything. But he stays awake all night, just to feel Jounouchi's soft snores tickling the side of his neck.   
  
There's something different inside of Kaiba Seto, and he's not going to let go. Not when he has a chance to win. Not when he has a chance to be king again. Not when he's thisclose to beating Yuugi...   
  
Even as he thinks these thoughts, Jounouchi's riddle nags at the back of his mind, and Kaiba suddenly knows the answer.   
  
_. . . love . . ._   
  
The alarm clock begins to ring shrilly, and Kaiba quickly turns it off, trying not to disturb Jounouchi. Fuck school, life, the outside world. Fuck Yuugi.   
  
Kaiba's staying in bed today.   
  
**_love is a game, too. just a different one. the stakes are higher...but so are the rewards._**   
  
**fin.**


End file.
